STELLA

This is a poem that I wrote while listening to the late Dr. Richard Taylor, a Ph.D. psychologist who was diagnosed with dementia. He spoke at many conferences and had a website – whereby he advocated for more humane treatment of people living with dementia, especially the process of receiving the diagnosis and how people reacted. So, as I listened to him speak, I took notes and made the following poem out of what he said:

Let’s Face It (Dementia)

The doctor couldn’t face us
We don’t want to face it
But surely we fear it
Whenever we hear it
Having trouble with his shoes
Having trouble with his buttons
Is he gone or is he here?
Can we focus through our fear?

Embarrassment within
Embarrassment without
You aren’t who you were
And now we hear you shout
You never used to shout,
You never used to curse,
Can anything be worse?

We can fail to find each other,
to see each other,
to love each other
For better or for worse.

That would be the curse.

— Steven R. Sabat

Steven R. Sabat, Ph.D., FGSA is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Georgetown University and author of Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia: What Everyone Needs to Know.